Dear Mom,
How do you write the perfect letter to the perfect person? How do I tell you about my life when you never left my side? How do I tell you about my failures when you were the one who lifted me back up? How do I say I love you, when saying “I love you” isn’t enough?
Christmas morning in 2006 was the last holiday I got to experience with you physically.
As a fifteen-year-old kid, I was anxious and excited to see the gifts that waited under the Christmas tree. I stood there that morning oblivious to the fact that you had already blessed me with the greatest gift a mother could ever give her child. At the time, I didn’t realize the gift you gave me would stick with me forever.
Who would have ever imagined I’d lose you physically, forever, just a few days after Christmas. My rock, my heart, my queen! Called home too early because God needed an angel like you to stand firmly by his side. That smile, that walk, that heart full of gold and ambition. My ambitious queen is what comes to mind when I often think about you.
You are my unsung hero, and I so desperately wish I could meet again. My struggle, my pain, my joy! Every time I failed in life and could not see a reason to get up, it was you that picked me up. It was you who taught me that no matter how many times life knocks you down, you get back up and keep fighting. It was you who taught me to smile even when on the inside the heart cries tears heavy enough to flood an ocean. It was you who taught me to be the glue. Because the glue holds all the pieces together, and I promise I’m here to make sure your boys never fall apart and see better days. It was you, no doubt about it!
It’s funny because people often ask me how was I able to make it this far with losing both parents. I laugh a little inside because I don’t think they realize you never left me.
They don’t understand that the values you taught me as a child were instilled in me forever. In Proverbs 22:6 it reads, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” What you instilled in me at a young age prepared me for every obstacle, hurdle, hill, and mountain that has been placed in front of me on this journey. Just by watching you , I learned to stay strong and persistent for the things I want in life. To value friendships and not things. To always respect authority and treat everyone the same because I am no better or less than anyone.
How could I be so lucky to have been blessed with a Mother like you? Right before you went to heaven I remember looking up in the stands and always seeing your smile. I knew exactly where you would be sitting every game. Not because you sat in the same spot every game but because sometimes you would beat the teams to the stadium. That’s what I missed most in college…looking up in the stands right before games and seeing your smile that could light up the earth if there was no sun.
I remember I scored a 69-yard touchdown against Georgia at Mizzou. Right after that touchdown I put my face in a towel and started crying. No one on the sideline understood why, but it was because I looked up at the heavens and just pictured you smiling down upon me.
I’ve always wondered what the best gift would be that a child could give his or her parent. I’m starting to realize that the best gift is to give them the gift of life. The gift of keeping them alive by making them proud of the person you grow up to be. By using the values that they instill in you as a kid and never forgetting that although your parents may not always be with you physically, they will never leave your side because you will never leave their heart. I cannot tell you I love you physically mom, but I will tell you by being the man you invested in me to be.
Happy 47th Birthday. I love you!!
Sincerely,
A proud son!